I’m on a pun roll right now and I recently had some inspiration: I should open a pun bakery. I even have a good name for it: “Punintentional”. I think the name works and if I can expand past my own country, I can always change the name to “Puninternational”.
I call it a Makery too; I make stuff in a bakery, but it’s a mockery of other things.
Anyway, here’s a list of the kinds of treats I’d sell in my pun bakery.
Pun Buns and Puncakes – These would be buns and pancakes, each with a different pun written on them in icing, melted cheese, chocolate or toasted. I could just have a set of puns that I reuse over and over and change the set only once a month. I could also serve butter for the puncakes in the shape of bums. Get it? Butter.
Cut and Pastries – A play on the phrase “cut and paste”, this would be a section in my shop where customers could make their own pastries by picking the ingredients and “pasting” them together.
Sweet Cakes – Cakes drenched in syrups and have compliments written on them, like “You look fabulous!”, “Smokin’ Hot!”, “Atta boy!” etc etc. Hence, Sweet Cakes
Cheesecakes – Similar to Sweet Cakes, these are actual cheesecakes with cliche romantic phrases written on them in icing, so we have cheesecakes.
Love Muffins – Heart shaped muffins! Perfect couple snacks.
Pies – Of course we have the obligatory nerd joke; Pies in the shape of Pi, sold for $3.14 apiece. Or maybe I can hide the pies among the different foods and call them “sPies”.
Tarts – These would be fruit tarts in the shape of lingerie or prostitutes. Get it? Tarts are Fruity? Hmm… might have a PG or M18 rating on them though… Never mind, I’ll just have an empty shelf with the label and never fill it up. Because they’re always tardy, get it?
Hot Cross Buns – Spicy bread in an X shape.
Cookie Dough – Cookies in the shape of coins! Cookies are already in the shape of coins, you say? *gasp* What coin-spiracy is this???
Donutella – Turtle-shaped bread or cake with Nutella spread on top.
Fruit Punch – This is actual fruit punch… or is it fruit punch?
I’ll also have a shelf of fake donuts with a sign saying: “DONUT TOUCH!”
To encourage people to come in, I’ll give free cotton candy to those who understand the puns.
Because Caught-On Candy!