The Hug

This post was first published on my Tumblr on Oct 22, 2012, and is now updated with my experiences since then.

Another idea conceived on one of my long walks was something I call The Hug.

Like the video, when Chien Po calms Yao with chanting, my idea aims to achieve a similar result.

The idea is to have two people who are angry at each other get from the “heated and irrational” stage to the “calm and rational” stage.

What happens is that one person hugs to other until both calm down and talk it out. The hugger needs to continue hugging the person until he/she calms down enough to talk it out. Even if the recipient – no, wait – especially if the recipient refuses to hug back. For maximum impact, the hugger should apologize even if he/she is right.

Apologizing is only as difficult as insulting or cursing. Also, apologizing doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It just means you care more about the relationship than you do about being right.

My theory is that no one can stay angry at someone who’s hugging them, especially a loved one. Same thing goes for the hugger. You can’t stay mad at someone you’re hugging.

Disclaimers:
-This is not 100% foolproof, use at your own risk.
-Recommended for use on family and best friends only. Hugging strangers is just weird.
-It is not intended to solve the problem, only move to the involved parties to the stage of rational problem solving.
-Whoever does this, let me know what the results were! I’m fascinated to find out if The Hug works, but I hope I won’t ever have to use it.

-Jace

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