Choose wisely

I found this post on 9gag several weeks back and I thought it was quite interesting, so I decided to write down my answers and justify them. It’s a series of “what would you choose” questions, always a choice between two entities.

Q1) A sexy gamer girlfriend or $50,000 cash?
My choice: $50,000 cash
Choice difficulty: Medium

I’m gonna assume that the $50,000 is in USD or SGD, i.e. a currency that is legitimately recognized and accepted in the world and not something like Monopoly money. I don’t need a gamer girlfriend, although a sexy girlfriend would be nice. Playing games (whether she’s good at them or not) isn’t a deal maker or breaker for me, because I don’t value that quality highly. Same for being sexy. I’d rather she be cute and coy than sexy.

Besides, as someone once brilliantly said: “If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.”

Q2) Get away with a bank robbery or get away with an art heist?
My choice: Bank robbery
Choice difficulty: Easy

Cash is king. It’s a lot more liquid than art, which you have to first sell on the black market and I have no idea how to do that or even at what price to sell the art pieces. I don’t have much appreciation for art, so cash is a lot more attractive. Also, if I steal the cash, I probably can buy the art I wanted.

Q3) Beat Eminem in a freestyle battle or make a game winning touchdown?
My choice: Beat Eminem in a freestyle battle
Choice difficulty: Easy

I like rapping. The thought of being able to improvise a rap so awesome and with enough sick burns to leave Eminem speechless is a lot more appealing than playing American football.

Q4) A brand new sports car with no one in it or a 1987 Chrysler LeBaron with Kate Upton inside?
My choice: Sports car
Choice difficulty: Easy

I’m not a car person, so the cars didn’t sway me much either way. But if Kate Upton is inside a car, I’m guessing it’s probably hers and I shouldn’t take it. I only know Kate Upton as Amber from The Other Woman, who was more or less a dumb blonde with boobs. Empty sports car or possible claims fight with a dumb blonde? Besides, if I wanted a chick for le sexy time I’d be better off picking one up in a sports car.

Q5) The ability to fly or the ability to read minds?
My choice: Read Minds
Choice difficulty: Easy

The superpower I want the most is to be able to peek inside the mind of another sentient being. To literally see the world from another’s point of view. I really want this so badly!! Oh sure, flying is cool, but it’s not very useful for solving day-to-day problems. Okay, well, I guess it solves transport. And if you want to impress someone. And if you want to kill someone you can fly them up and drop them.

But reading minds is so much more subtle, useful and satisfying. I would know exactly what to say or do in any situation, rather than just run fly away. It’s enough of an advantage to make life a little easier but still challenging.

Q6) Master every instrument or master every sport?
My choice: Master every instrument
Choice difficulty: Medium

At first I thought it would be cool to master every sport and beat anyone who ever challenges me in them. But then I realized that if I master all sports, there’d be no challenge, no fun in sports anymore. Mastering every instrument, on the other hand, is a lot more fun. I could play a one man band, or accompany anyone on anything. I would imagine that playing an instrument well is a lot more attractive to a woman than playing a sport so well that there’s no competition.

Q7) Have Kanye rant about you on twitter or be the inspiration for Taylor Swift’s next song?
My choice: Taylor Swift song
Choice difficulty: Easy

Taylor Swift is hot. I’d rather have a hot chick sing about me than a guy. At least when I hear the song, it would be annoyingly catchy and I can say I inspired that. I might even be able to collect royalties on it XD

Q8) A date with Jennifer Lawrence or all the pizza, forever?
My choice: Date with Jennifer Lawrence
Choice difficulty: Easy

OMG J LAW! I’m not a ninja turtle so I’m not a fanatic for pizza anyway. AND OMG IT’S J LAW.

‘Nuff said.

Q9) Fist fight Justin Bieber or fist fight Kim Jong Un
My choice: Fight Kim Jong Un
Choice difficulty: Easy

I’m not a fan of either, but Justin Bieber hasn’t done anything inherently evil. Or maybe I just don’t like Kim Jong Un’s face. Meh.

Q10) Become a ninja or become a pirate?
My choice: Ninja
Choice difficulty: Easy

Ninja’s have mad skills. Pirates have dirt and disease and crudeness and seasickness. Bleagh.

Q11) Unlimited Nutella or unlimited Krispy Kreme?
My choice: DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DONUTS
Choice difficulty: Easy

Don’t hate me, Internet, but I’m not a Nutella fan. I’d rather have donuts. Donuts could come with dark chocolate, which I love infinitely more then milk or white chocolate.

Q12) Travel 200 years in the past or 200 years into the future?
My choice: BACK TO THE FUTURE
Choice difficulty: Easy

I’m always looking forward. Anyway, I know bits about the past and it sounds boring. And what if I trigger a butterfly effect in the past that results in the future (my present) being thoroughly different? At least if I travel forward in time, I could see all the cool new stuff that’s been invented. I still could find out what happened between my present and the future too.

Q13) Live in Harry Potter’s world or live in Lord of the Rings world?
My choice: Harry Potter’s world
Choice difficulty: Difficult

Harry’s world seems a lot more hospitable to a muggle like me than LOTR. Also, you can become invisible without going insane.

Q14) A free Playstation 4 or a free Xbox One?
My choice: PS 4
Choice difficulty: Easy

Actually, I’m quite indifferent to either game console. I didn’t grow up with either and I don’t play games on them, so the choice doesn’t matter to me. I chose a PS 4 because I remember I didn’t like the Xbox controller the last time I held one in my hands. It was too fat. But perhaps then my hands were too small. Meh.

Q15) The ability to talk to animals or the ability to speak any language fluently?
My choice: All languages
Choice difficulty: Difficult

Wow this was a hard decision. I went with languages because it has tactical uses. I’d be able to listen in on a conversation if the speakers thought I couldn’t understand them. Talking to animals may not be as useful because even if they had the ability to understand me, it’s not a guarantee that they’ll have the capacity or willingness to do so.

Q16) All the money in the world or all the time in the world?
My choice: Infinite Time
Choice difficulty: Easy

Money is no use to me if I’m dead. I can make money if I have time. Simple.

-Jace

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