Tag Archives: Appreciation

Pain and Pleasure

This post was first published on my Tumblr on Nov 3, 2012, and is now updated with my experiences since then.

Okay yes I know the title sounds weird but I swear this post has nothing to do with bondage. Although…

As an organizer of several activities for my friends, I’ve learnt a lot of things through successes and, more often, failures. Motivation is one of these things I’ve really learnt a lot about and I’ve come to the conclusion that pain is a much better motivator than pleasure.

Motivation is about moving away from pain, or moving towards pleasure.

When you have to do something to prevent losing something else, you work that much harder at it, than if that activity gave you a benefit.

I’m not saying it applies to everyone. Those who actually fully understand motivation are able to “re-wire” themselves to make pleasure just as effective, thus not needing a pain motivator. It’s just that the majority of people (by default) don’t understand it, which is where problems start to happen.

For example, if I organized an activity that needed money, I should collect the money of those interested parties first, to prevent them from backing out. I almost had a situation like that last year, when I organized a paintball event for my friends. I swore I’d never let that happen again.

I think the way to persuade someone to do something is to show them what they could lose, not what they could gain. Showing then what they can gain should be portrayed as a bonus.

Everyone has a price. If they don’t agree to your request, it means you’re not offering enough. If you offer the most you can and they still don’t agree, find their vice and squeeze it. Everyone has a price or a vice.

I really learnt this lesson the hard way. If I wanted to organize something, I’d better make sure everything went according to plan, have backup plans, and have backup plans for those backup plans.

I’ve had several occasions when my plans really did go wrong and the whole event had to be scrapped. I never want to experience that pain of embarrassment ever again, so this has motivated me enough to stop and think before I actually start to plan anything.

Pain > Pleasure


Organizing… again

This post was first published on my Tumblr on Mar 16, 2013, and is now updated with my experiences since then.

Once again, I find myself organizing activities. At least this time I have some form of support.

I’m talking about Wunning Man, the games my friend and I planned in the same vein as the popular Korean variety show Running Man. After Wunning Man 1, we both learnt a lot, and this Saturday is the second one we’ve planned: Wunning Man 2.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret planning this; it’s just so hard sometimes. We expected 10-12 players, but we were stuck with six. Whenever I plan, I usually have backup plans in case something goes wrong. I’ve learnt to have plan Cs and Ds as well, because of Murphy’s Law.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Doesn’t matter how many plans I have, it doesn’t soften the blow, or feeling of failure when plan A fails. I like to be as perfect as possible, even though my motto states that there is no such thing. I put in so much effort into plan A and when it goes wrong, it just feels like my efforts were wasted.

Then again, my plan Bs, Cs and Ds are usually salvage plans. Salvage plans don’t feel good.

It’s not just the (seeming) loss of efforts that discourage me. I crave appreciation and most of the time I don’t feel appreciated for what I’ve done. Take for example the class graduation video I did. If it wasn’t for Dawei, well, I don’t think I’d have felt validated. He was so dramatic in his thanks and I felt so flattered. It’s what makes him such a good friend. (Sounds like I’m friendzoning him LOL). Just his appreciation made me feel that it was worth doing the video.

I think appreciation is important and I do my best to give credit where credit is due. I think a little exaggeration or drama is good. Flattery is always good with appreciation. It just makes it more fun and brightens up the receiver’s day.

The only downside of planning Wunning Man 2 is that I don’t get to participate in the games. Because I know all the secrets, I can’t allow myself to play, else it would be unfair to the other players. Not to mention it’d be unfun for me. I love to find stuff, crack codes and decipher riddles, so I create the games that way. However, one of the lessons I learnt was that I made the game too difficult. What I consider fun is very different from what other people consider fun. I guess I still have to learn that lesson, since life keeps throwing it in my face.

I wish someone would plan for me.