I have a new theory on soulmates. There is no ONE person just for us; it’s a type. There are many people with whom each of us could have a successful romantic relationship.
Okay, if there really only is one person out there for each of us, then the probability of us finding that one person is very very small. It’s so small it’s unrealistic. We also really don’t know exactly what we want anyway. Don’t we usually go into relationships thinking he or she is the one, only to find out they’re not?
Even Animology shows you that there isn’t just one person for you, and that’s a tool for finding your soulmate. Each person does a quiz and is given a profile, which consists of a colour and an animal. There definitely aren’t seven billion permutations, which means that there are multiple people who have the same profile, meaning multiple people can be your soulmate.
Therefore a soulmate is not a person; it’s a profile. But each of your possible soulmates could be different too. It’s a person’s quirks and choices that make them who they are. So then once you’ve found your soulmate, it all comes down to whether you can tolerate their quirks.
So I have a new action plan: dating by elimination and actively looking for deal breakers.
See, I figure that if I work the probability, dating more girls would mean that I’m more likely to find someone I can click with. Cast my net wide, ya know? Also, each time I ask a girl out, I find out more about myself, what I like and what I dislike. That way I can fine tune my search for my next date.
Perhaps this sounds very mechanical, unromantic and somewhat desperate, but hey, I’m looking for my future partner. Someone who I can and want to spend the rest of my life with. I deserve to be picky and I’m doing everything in my power to make sure that happens the way I want it to. Okay, that sounds so controlling. Rephrase: I’m doing everything I can so that when the right woman arrives, I won’t mess it up. Every girl I date unsuccessfully provides me with practice and experience for when I finally meet my significant other.
So the second part to my plan is to actively look for deal breakers. Habits and quirks about a person that make me go “Nope, I’m sorry, I have to call this off right now.” Some of these include smoking, the inability to understand my jokes (especially puns), excessive use of vulgarities and not making the effort to look decent. I’ll expand more on this and in more detail in a future post.
This is also the way I’ve started looking at the new friends I make. I actively look for deal breakers. I find that there’s another advantage too; these things I look for give me conversation openers. Like, I ask them if they smoke. If they say yes, I back away. If they say no, then I can start hating on smokers.
Someone once said that bonding over shared hatred is stronger and more fun than bonding over shared interests.