Tag Archives: Him

THE003 Him

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation. She smiled and closed her eyes.

We were celebrating our third anniversary together. Our third year since we officially became a couple, which was about a month after we met.

I met her when I was doing an internship as part of my study module. We were both attached to the same department along with several other interns, helping out mostly with data entry and small errands. Basically not much more than coffee boys and girls. She and I only met and talked to each other during that internship. I mean, she was in the same course as I, but from a different class. I knew her face, but we never had an opportunity to mingle before.

Over the course of the internship, she and I became quite close. I’d always ask her out to have dinner together. Nobody else seemed to ask her out and she never asked anyone either, so it was always just the two of us.

Not that I minded. I’d tell my colleagues I’d be having dinner with a friend and they’d leave me alone.

We had dinner together almost every weekday night. I discovered she loved spicy food, even and especially the ones that would make her start sniffing tearing up. Her cheeks would also turn a pretty shade of red, which was kind of adorable. Each meal I ask her why she tortures herself so and she always replied that it wasn’t torturous. I personally hate spicy food like chilli, curry and peppers. I mean, I can eat it if I’m forced to, but I’d always pick something else.

I remember there was one night we had Japanese food and she’d ordered curry rice. This was our third week of our internship together and we had grown quite close. She was playfully doing her best to make me taste Japanese curry and I was quite adamant in refusing. She called me weak and unadventurous and I still wasn’t having any of it.

Then she looked into my eyes and asked me, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes…” I answered hesitantly.

“Then take a bit of curry. It’s not spicy at all!”

“No!” I exclaimed.

She pouted. “You don’t trust me,” she said.

“…Alright, alright fine,” I gave in reluctantly.

She beamed and instructed me to close my eyes and open my mouth. I did so and she slipped a spoonful of Japanese curry into my mouth. I was pleasantly surprised; it actually wasn’t very spicy. Quite delicious, in fact. Of course, I didn’t love all spicy food immediately after that, but that one incident made me realize how much I did trust her.

On our last week of our internship together, I took her out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, as a sort of celebration for completing our internship and, as a result, finishing our final module for graduation. We ordered spicy chicken wings and she made me eat them too. We were both in tears by the end of it, but on a high, laughing and joking and just generally being silly. We went for ice cream afterwards to cool our tongues and took a walk beside the river to enjoy the cool night air.

We shared a comfortable silence as we ate our ice cream and strolled along, taking in the sights of the night activities. I realized that after this week, if I didn’t do something, I probably wouldn’t see her again. I finished the last bit of my ice-cream, stopped and turned to her. She stopped too. I looked into her eyes and I said, “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” she asked curiously, tilting her head cutely.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Yes, of course,” she replied with a smile and finished off her ice cream too.

“Then close your eyes,” I told her and she did so. I took a breath and mentally psyched myself up for what I was about to do.

I put my hands on her shoulders, leaned in and kissed her lips. She twitched in surprise, but didn’t open her eyes. I closed my eyes as well as she kissed me back and I felt her wrap her arms around me.

That was our first kiss and the day we officially became a couple. Since then we’ve shared many kisses and I’m sure we’ll enjoy many more together.


THE002 Him

It’s been a couple of years since we last met in person and I’ve learnt a lot more about love and relationships; what I like and what I dislike. I had a crush on her before, but I never did anything much about because I wasn’t as confident then as I am now.

So I’m staring at my phone, her number on my screen and I’m just one tap away from calling her. I need to know. I need to know what we could have been then, and could we be anything now? I think back to the first time I met her.

We met during a computer class though our mutual friend (my best friend and her classmate). I thought she was cute and a typical girl-next-door type. She was very polite, not cold or stuck up, and I got the “good girl” vibe off her. The three of us chatted for a bit and she and I ended up befriending each other on Facebook.

Most of our interaction was online from there. The first real connection we had was over shared interest in YouTuber Lindsey Stirling. Lindsey is a dancing violinist and creates original songs by blending classical music with dubstep. I had shared one of Lindsey’s videos and my best friend didn’t see what the big deal was. Then she came to my defense, or rather, Lindsey’s defense. The both of us bonded over Lindsey’s music videos as we gushed about how awesome she was. Since then, every time a new Lindsey music video came out, I’d share it with her, or she with me, whoever found it earlier.

The first time I actually made a move was to ask her to a short intro to Latin dance course. Bottom line is, she accepted and we went as partners. We had even colour-coordinated our outfits for each lesson. While we chatted about it online, I was my comfortable witty self and she said I was a funny guy.

A funny guy! I love to make people laugh and being a funny person has always been what I’ve striven to achieve. No one had ever told me I was funny before. Sure, they laugh at my jokes, but no one has ever said I was funny. Now THAT was the trigger. My self-confidence skyrocketed and I asked her out to breakfast a day before our first dance lesson.

She agreed, but it wasn’t exactly a date because I had put it as a “get to know you better since we’re gonna be dance partners for a while” thing. If I could reach back in time and slap myself I would do so right now. This might not have been a date, but it was the closest I’ve ever gotten to one, so naturally I was nervous. Still, it wasn’t a complete disaster. We ended up chatting for almost two hours. There were some awkward pauses here and there, but I had prepared a list of topics to talk about and ask about her, so I managed to keep the ball rolling. I think that was a bright idea on my part; my mind just kept blanking out whenever I looked at her.

Sometime later, I found a school Halloween event that her club had organized. I asked if she was going and she said that she wanted to go but nobody else was interested. Immediately I asked her if she wanted to go with me and she said yes. We didn’t dress up as anything for the Halloween event, but I still remember what she wore: a cute little pink dress that was adorable and yet somehow elegant on her.

In all the time I’ve known her, there is one thing I’ve always regretted doing and it’s the reason why I’m holding the phone in my hand, my finger hovering over the call button.

See, there was this one time after dance class when we went to have dinner with the other dancers. She and I lagged behind the group a bit to talk. I was so engrossed with talking to her that I didn’t check the small road we were about to cross. There was a taxi coming which I hadn’t noticed and I stepped off the pavement. She grabbed my hand and pulled me back immediately.

I know what you’re thinking; it’s a classic scene from a Korean romance drama or something. I seriously did not make this up. It wasn’t even a close shave. But it happened and it wasn’t even the thing I regretted.

After the taxi passed, she didn’t let go of my hand.


As soon as I did, I realized my mistake. She didn’t even make a move to pull her hand out of mine. It’s not that I didn’t want to hold her hand; of course I did! And it’s not like we haven’t held hands in dance class before. I just felt so… shocked. I had no idea how to react, so instinctively I pulled away. I have lost count of how many times I’ve beat myself up over this. It’s the worst oh-gawd-why moment I’ve ever had. And I was too much of a coward to do anything about it afterwards. To this day I still remember that her hand was small and soft and her palms were a little leathery, the mark of someone who’s worked hard with her hands.

Just one mistake which I failed to recover from and it’s haunted me ever since. And with all that I know now, I have to find out if we could have been something.

The phone is ringing in my ear.


THE001 – Him

I saw her leaning against the railing, the wind tossing her hair back as she waited for me with her ever present book in hand. I didn’t want to keep her waiting any longer, so I sped up as a silly grin formed on my face.

As I shortened the distance between us, I thought about how close we had grown over the years. There wasn’t much I couldn’t tell her or talk to her about and vice versa. She was and still is my best friend.

She was wearing a pretty blue dress and the DNA friendship band I made for her on her birthday three years ago. She loved biology and was pretty much a nerd about it. We were in the same class and she had breezed through everything, easily scoring top marks in every biology exam. The subject just came naturally to her and it used to annoy me a lot. I was constantly in the bottom half of the class until she decided to tutor me herself.

We were lab partners and I kept messing up the experiments and dissections. She always came to my rescue and fixed as much as she could, chastising me and showing me the right way to do it. I think she saw teaching me as a challenge where the actual subject of biology was not.

She was really bossy but she was my angel. Without her tutelage, I wouldn’t have ascended to the top quarter of our class and I probably would have flunked my finals that year.

I guess that would have been my own fault. I was swamped with other school activities like organizing camps and community service events. I was doing alright in my other subjects, but I just didn’t have the aptitude for biology until she came along.

Because of all the activities I was involved in, I knew almost everyone in my school, at least by face, but I didn’t have a lot of close friends. In fact, I think it was just her. Apart from all the school activities, I didn’t really spend time with anyone except her. Even before I met her, I spent most of my time at home studying, which was how I had gotten by with my fully packed schedule. Once she decided to take me under her wing, we studied together.

We did hang out occasionally during our holidays. One of our favourite places was the Science Center, for obvious reasons. In school, she mostly kept to herself, her nose almost always buried in a storybook. The Science Center was the only place I’ve seen her so carefree and bubbly. Her face would always light up as she animatedly gushed about new exhibits.

I loved it when she did that. I loved the way her eyes brightened with wonder, then with understanding as she watched each exhibit and read the corresponding write ups.

During our school holidays, whenever I wasn’t helping to conduct holiday camps, I’d organize short day outings for our classmates, like cycling and swimming events.

She’d never missed a single outing.

Today was the end of our final exams. In a few months’ time, I’ll be enlisting into the army. We had decided to have a little celebration, just the two of us, and this was where I asked her to meet me.

The closer I got to her, the faster my heart beat. After all the time I spent with her, I know the effects adrenaline pumping through my veins by heart; faster heartbeat, pupils dilated, increased breathing, senses heightened, sensitivity to pain lowered. I mentally checked them off as I noted how I felt.

As I reached out to her to say hi, she sensed my presence and looked up, a big grin forming on her face. Closing her book, she pulled me into a quick embrace that sent jolts of electricity racing throughout my body. I noticed her cheeks took on a pretty pink tinge as she pulled back to keep her book and we set off.

I led her to the bridge. They call it the Helix Bridge because there’s a twisted double helix structure along the length of the bridge. Keeping in theme, there are pairs of lights at fixed intervals on the floor on both sides of the bridge. Each pair of lights has one of two combinations of colours, representing the four amino acid pairs that make up DNA.

I thought it would be pretty apt to walk her across this bridge before I confessed my love for her.

As we approached the bridge, we saw that it was packed with people. In order not to get separated, I suggested that we hold hands and she agreed. I wiped my palms, which were wet with nervous sweat, on my pants as much as I could, then reached out to her and she slipped her hand into mine. The moment we touched, I felt the same jolt of electricity shoot through my arm, although now it was just a pleasant tingle of elation. With our hands clasped together, we turned and headed into the crowd.

As I pulled her along, carving a route through the crowd for her to follow, I was extremely aware of the weight of her hand in mine. It felt so perfect, so right, and I couldn’t help a silly, triumphant grin form on my face.

I was partially thankful for the density of the crowd; it allowed me to go really slow and prolong this wonderful moment as long as possible. I moved with a dreamlike sensation, capturing as much detail as I could and committing everything to memory.

I wanted to be able to relive this moment again and again.

All too soon, we reached the end of the bridge. I turned back to smile at her and reluctantly loosened my grip on her hand. This was my chance. I had to say something now, to tell her exactly how she made me feel, the joy that rushes through me every time we meet.

As I glanced at her, my mind went blank, I froze and the moment passed. I couldn’t say anything. The words just stuck in my throat, so instead I turned away, dropping her hand.

And then the most wonderful thing happened: her hand found mine and she intertwined her fingers around mine.

I looked back at her in surprise and saw a shy smile on her face. She nodded slightly, as if acknowledging the words I had failed to say. She knew that words didn’t come to me as easily as they came to her.

I let her pull me to the railing on the bank of the river where the light show was about to begin. When it did, she linked her arm around mine, rested her head on my shoulder and we both watched the show in total, comfortable silence.